0000 N Emotional Ave.. Vacancies!

My emotions were all over the place today...well not all over the place - just in one place - the toilet. this toilet needed a serious flush or one of those blue rings that keeps it fresh and clean..or maybe just need a new toilet all together. Whatever the case...it was bad.  

I was so down all day and feeling so empty and powerless, when I got off work, I got on the train and prayed to Jehovah for help. Then I went on Twitter to see what my favorite blog/tweeter TDL had to say. Interestingly, today's blog was about emotions...it put a new perspective on my issue(s)  "Emotions are your internal feedback to the quality of choices you are making about the events of your life. Give your life a disempowering meaning and you will experience negative emotions; give your life an empowering meaning and you will begin to experience greater and greater positive emotions."

I had to evaluate the choices I've made over the past few days / weeks and examine why I feeling like a used toilet liner. And subsequently I had a few revelations and made a few silent promises / commitments to live better and make sounder decisions.

So the end of the matter is this... though I'm feeling a little emotionally empty or vacant, I now see it as an opportunity to fill the vacancy with better choices and live in a constant state of positivity, productivity and self-acceptance. Mantra for the week...I am 100% self approved (#TDL)  

Thoughts Over Miles

So, I'm here in Indianapolis @ the Marriott Courtyard. My love - or lover - or friend - or fellow toxic relationship-belonger, or whoever he is - sleeps soundly in our hotel bed. He, being the neat-and-germ-freak that he is has sprayed the entire room down in a fresh Lysol scent and can now rest peacefully knowing that he's killed 99% of the flu virus.

Me, on the other hand, I can't rest. I don't know why I'm here. Well, I know why I came. It was to support - whoever he is - while he trained for a new job. My support - unappreciated. My presence - taken for granted.  Maybe i'm being a bit dramatic...okay, but damn. if every word i say is dismissed as if I'm a fifth grader who knows nothing and everybody including him is smarter than me...then really, why I am i here?

And then to be told on the first day of whoever he is' training "I should just go back to school. Forget this." WTF? Really? I said that 7 months ago. But now...you say it - like its an original thought...really?

i do wonder if it is my job as a loving and supportive woman to let such things pass, and never say "I told you so" and to stick by her man "though thick and thin" or in this case "dumb and dumber"

snore...or at least that's what he's doing. me...i'm up pondering my next move.